6 hours since I made this blog and already onto post number 3. I still have a whole evening ahead of me. These days just seem to drag on when all I want to do is move onto the next.
My mom just came into my room with a Valentine's bag of goodies for her boyfriend. Before she got one word out, I burst into tears.
It makes me so angry that through all of this, I never thought of anyone but myself. I hurt the person I love most in this world. And what does he do? He says, "I know you're sorry, I have faith you'll change, we're still friends."
That's exactly the type of person he is. The most considerate, affectionate, and optimistic person I have ever met. And I hurt him more than I'll ever be able to comprehend.
Even if he's never able to love me the same way again, I will show him, I can be that person he can depend on again.
Just booked: double doses of therapy every week starting next week. I'm determined to kick these bad habits. I will learn how to manage these feelings and find new ways to cope with my anxiety.
I don't want to disappoint him any more than I have. And I won't.
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